They just seem to come out of nowhere. My thoughts wander, making it difficult to concentrate on anything else I might be doing. And then, of a sudden, my eyes well up and the tears are there again.
In my mind scenes play out of what that "goodbye" might have been like. The tender sweetness. A final handhold. A last embrace. The whispered "I'll love you forever."
The recent passing of a friend's husband has tweaked my perspective of life a bit. While I never met "Phil the Brave", I've known Heidi for over twenty years. I missed their wedding because I was too ill to travel at the time. But I would have been there if I could have.
I am grateful for the tears. They are symbolic of a friendship, of lives intertwined some day long ago and though years have passed since we last met, there is a dearness to the friendship that I'm sure will never diminish. My tears are shared with Heidi's. They are shared with all those tears from those who love Phil and feel the depth of this loss. They are pooled with those who have hope in the eternities. They run with those who feel the blessing of the tender mercies of our Father. My tears are a testimony that I am worthy and able to "mourn with those who mourn." They are tears of the Spirit, which somehow help to lessen Heidi's tears, taking the place of some few on her behalf.
And so when they come, I gratefully share my tears.
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That was beautiful. I hope for better days to come for your friend and you! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Leanna, you put it into words so nicely. I couldn't agree more and feel very much the same in all aspects.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting such a beautiful way to put things. I have known Heidi for probably longer you. :) We were in the same ward when my family moved to OR in 1987. We also served together in the YSA Branch RS presidency after she came home from her mission - and before I left on mine.
ReplyDeleteI feel the exact same way you do. I can be going along taking care of my boys and I will start crying out of nowhere. Part of me wants it to stop - cuz it makes my nose start to run - and part of me feels like I couldn't cry enough for the sorrows of dear friends.
Thanks LeAnna. Eden calls tears "drips." So the next time those tears of joy and celebration and even sorrow come, imagine Eden saying, "yours eyes are dripping."
ReplyDeleteWe are doing well. We so appreciate your thoughts and feelings and empathy. Thank you.