Well, I 'spose it had to happen eventually...looks like summer has ended and fall is here! It's a cool 62 degrees outside at 4pm with a little breeze blowing. I went out to check the apple trees. In spite of not getting them treated this past spring and the worms that have made their little homes in many of the apples, they have done pretty well.
I learned from watching a YouTube video earlier this summer how to thin out the limbs and the fruit. WHAT A DIFFERENCE THAT MADE! Wow...the apples are about twice as big as last year. Still waiting for that first freeze to pick them...hopefully they won't all fall off the tree before then! Hot apple cider sure sounds good right now!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
That "One Thing"
Ever feel just kind of out of place, like you don't quite fit in, like you're just going through the motions to keep up appearances so people don't "see" what you are really feeling inside? That's kind of how the past few days have been for me.
Fortunately for me, I guess, right now I don't have to interact with a lot of people. There's no one at home (husband works in Afghanistan) and being a full-time household engineer, I am home alone...except for when I'm not.
It's strange how you can sit in a room full of people, even a congregation of 200-plus, and still feel completely disconnected from anyone. Totally and utterly alone.
I think that each of us must feel that way at times in our lives. There's always something that sets us apart from everyone else. Sometimes, that "one thing" can be a painful realization of how different you are, how you don't quite fit in, how you probably won't ever measure up.
I don't know why but that "one thing" for me has been more pronounced this past week than ever before. It is something most of the women I know can never relate to, have never experienced it and really, off the top of my head, I cannot think of anyone I know that shares this same "one thing" with me. It's a lonely place to be, in the middle of that "one thing".
Maybe it's better to just look at all the "many things" that tie me to so many others.
Fortunately for me, I guess, right now I don't have to interact with a lot of people. There's no one at home (husband works in Afghanistan) and being a full-time household engineer, I am home alone...except for when I'm not.
It's strange how you can sit in a room full of people, even a congregation of 200-plus, and still feel completely disconnected from anyone. Totally and utterly alone.
I think that each of us must feel that way at times in our lives. There's always something that sets us apart from everyone else. Sometimes, that "one thing" can be a painful realization of how different you are, how you don't quite fit in, how you probably won't ever measure up.
I don't know why but that "one thing" for me has been more pronounced this past week than ever before. It is something most of the women I know can never relate to, have never experienced it and really, off the top of my head, I cannot think of anyone I know that shares this same "one thing" with me. It's a lonely place to be, in the middle of that "one thing".
Maybe it's better to just look at all the "many things" that tie me to so many others.
Friday, September 25, 2009
The Only Thing That Really Matters
Found this in my in-box this morning...just passing it along.
The Only Thing That Really Matters
by Alexander Green
Dear Reader,
Why do some folks look back on their lives in old age and say they wouldn't change much... or anything?
Is there a formula - some mix of love, work, habits, or attitudes - that offers the best chance of experiencing the good life?
Believe it or not, researchers at Harvard have been examining this question for 72 years, following 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s through war, career, sickness, health, marriage, parenthood, grandparenthood and old age.
Their discoveries about what constitutes a well-lived life might surprise you.
Just listen to Dr. George Vaillant. Since 1967, the Harvard Medical School professor has dedicated his career to following the men of Harvard's "Grant Study," named after its patron, the department-store magnate, W.T. Grant.
Vaillant's specialty is the longitudinal method of research, the comprehensive study of a small number of people over a long period of time.
His subjects were never a representative sample of society. They were all young men, Harvard students, from relatively privileged backgrounds.
Yet Vaillant's findings offer profound insights into the human condition. They have universal applications. And they illuminate the one single factor that correlates most highly with a positive life assessment in old age.
So let's take a closer look...
From the beginning, the Grant Study was meant to be exhaustive. Harvard researchers assembled a team that included medical doctors, physiologists, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, anthropologists and other specialists.
Over more than seven decades, participants were monitored, interviewed and studied from every conceivable angle, including eating and drinking habits, exercise, mental and physical health, career changes, financial successes and setbacks, marital history, parenthood, grandparenthood and old age.
They were subjected to general aptitude tests and personality inventories, and were required to provide regular letters and documentation.
Many of the Grant Study men achieved dramatic success. Some became captains of industry. One was a bestselling author. Four members ran for the U.S. Senate. One served in a presidential cabinet. And one - JFK (we now know) - was president. (His files have been sealed until 2040.)
Some of the subjects were disappointments, too. Case number 47, for example, literally fell down drunk and died. (Not quite what the study had in mind.)
Most of the participants remain anonymous, although a few, like Ben Bradlee, the long-time editor of The Washington Post, have publicly identified themselves.
Over the last four decades, the lives of the Grant men were Vaillant's personal and professional obsession. In his book, Adaptation to Life, he writes, "Their lives were too human for science, too beautiful for numbers, too sad for diagnosis and too immortal for bound journals."
Yet more than 70 years of data and analysis enabled Vaillant to reach some broad conclusions.
He found seven major factors that predict healthy aging, both physically and psychologically: education, stable marriage, healthy weight, some exercise, not smoking, not abusing alcohol and "employing mature adaptations." (Vaillant believes social skills and coping methods are crucial in determining overall life satisfaction.)
However, his most important finding was revealed in an interview in 2008 when he was asked, "What have you learned from the Grant Study men?"
Vaillant's response: "That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people."
The Grant Study confirms what the wisest among us have always known, that a successful life is not about the grim determination to get or have more. Nor is it about low cholesterol levels or intellectual brilliance or career accomplishments.
It's about human connections: parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, neighbors and mentors.
Without them, life quickly loses its flavor, whatever material successes we enjoy. Lasting satisfaction is rare outside of meaningful, human relationships.
Look back at your life and you'll almost certainly find that the most significant moments were births, deaths, weddings and celebrations.
Your most profound moments? When you touched others... or they touched you.
In times of suffering - loss, sickness, death - it is not prescriptions, formulas, or advice we seek, but the healing presence of another.
When we forget this - when we think only of ourselves - we choke the source of our development.
Real meaning comes from taking care of those you love, letting them know how you feel.
Fortunately, we have countless opportunities to give a bit of ourselves each day through a thoughtful act, a word of appreciation, or a sense of understanding.
As Dr. Vaillant concludes, true success "is more about us than me."
The Only Thing That Really Matters
by Alexander Green
Dear Reader,
Why do some folks look back on their lives in old age and say they wouldn't change much... or anything?
Is there a formula - some mix of love, work, habits, or attitudes - that offers the best chance of experiencing the good life?
Believe it or not, researchers at Harvard have been examining this question for 72 years, following 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s through war, career, sickness, health, marriage, parenthood, grandparenthood and old age.
Their discoveries about what constitutes a well-lived life might surprise you.
Just listen to Dr. George Vaillant. Since 1967, the Harvard Medical School professor has dedicated his career to following the men of Harvard's "Grant Study," named after its patron, the department-store magnate, W.T. Grant.
Vaillant's specialty is the longitudinal method of research, the comprehensive study of a small number of people over a long period of time.
His subjects were never a representative sample of society. They were all young men, Harvard students, from relatively privileged backgrounds.
Yet Vaillant's findings offer profound insights into the human condition. They have universal applications. And they illuminate the one single factor that correlates most highly with a positive life assessment in old age.
So let's take a closer look...
From the beginning, the Grant Study was meant to be exhaustive. Harvard researchers assembled a team that included medical doctors, physiologists, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, anthropologists and other specialists.
Over more than seven decades, participants were monitored, interviewed and studied from every conceivable angle, including eating and drinking habits, exercise, mental and physical health, career changes, financial successes and setbacks, marital history, parenthood, grandparenthood and old age.
They were subjected to general aptitude tests and personality inventories, and were required to provide regular letters and documentation.
Many of the Grant Study men achieved dramatic success. Some became captains of industry. One was a bestselling author. Four members ran for the U.S. Senate. One served in a presidential cabinet. And one - JFK (we now know) - was president. (His files have been sealed until 2040.)
Some of the subjects were disappointments, too. Case number 47, for example, literally fell down drunk and died. (Not quite what the study had in mind.)
Most of the participants remain anonymous, although a few, like Ben Bradlee, the long-time editor of The Washington Post, have publicly identified themselves.
Over the last four decades, the lives of the Grant men were Vaillant's personal and professional obsession. In his book, Adaptation to Life, he writes, "Their lives were too human for science, too beautiful for numbers, too sad for diagnosis and too immortal for bound journals."
Yet more than 70 years of data and analysis enabled Vaillant to reach some broad conclusions.
He found seven major factors that predict healthy aging, both physically and psychologically: education, stable marriage, healthy weight, some exercise, not smoking, not abusing alcohol and "employing mature adaptations." (Vaillant believes social skills and coping methods are crucial in determining overall life satisfaction.)
However, his most important finding was revealed in an interview in 2008 when he was asked, "What have you learned from the Grant Study men?"
Vaillant's response: "That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people."
The Grant Study confirms what the wisest among us have always known, that a successful life is not about the grim determination to get or have more. Nor is it about low cholesterol levels or intellectual brilliance or career accomplishments.
It's about human connections: parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, neighbors and mentors.
Without them, life quickly loses its flavor, whatever material successes we enjoy. Lasting satisfaction is rare outside of meaningful, human relationships.
Look back at your life and you'll almost certainly find that the most significant moments were births, deaths, weddings and celebrations.
Your most profound moments? When you touched others... or they touched you.
In times of suffering - loss, sickness, death - it is not prescriptions, formulas, or advice we seek, but the healing presence of another.
When we forget this - when we think only of ourselves - we choke the source of our development.
Real meaning comes from taking care of those you love, letting them know how you feel.
Fortunately, we have countless opportunities to give a bit of ourselves each day through a thoughtful act, a word of appreciation, or a sense of understanding.
As Dr. Vaillant concludes, true success "is more about us than me."
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Hugs
Got a really good hug last night from Nathan. He's our son. Haven't seen him since Elizabeth's wedding the end of May. He and Amber live in Utah but were on a little trip and they stopped by last night on their way home.
Nathan is unusual about hugs. First, he's a REALLY big guy, so you wouldn't guess he's a "hugger". And second, he's a really good hugger. Big hugs come from big guys!
I don't get or give many hugs, just not who I am. Although, I don't mind "real" hugs. In fact, I rather enjoy hugs. I feel really fortunate that I've gotten a couple of really great hugs in the past few weeks.
The other hug came from a friend and former co-worker, Rhonda. She was on a vacation and stopped to see me for a few hours. Besides being a really great person she is a lot of fun too! When she arrived I was in the front yard. She came and threw her arms around me and just squeezed me really tight, kind of doing that rocking motion. That's what Nathan did too, only he didn't rock. But they were good, tight squeezes. Not so hard that I deflated, but tight. Like they meant it. Like I meant something to them.
Nathan is unusual about hugs. First, he's a REALLY big guy, so you wouldn't guess he's a "hugger". And second, he's a really good hugger. Big hugs come from big guys!
I don't get or give many hugs, just not who I am. Although, I don't mind "real" hugs. In fact, I rather enjoy hugs. I feel really fortunate that I've gotten a couple of really great hugs in the past few weeks.
The other hug came from a friend and former co-worker, Rhonda. She was on a vacation and stopped to see me for a few hours. Besides being a really great person she is a lot of fun too! When she arrived I was in the front yard. She came and threw her arms around me and just squeezed me really tight, kind of doing that rocking motion. That's what Nathan did too, only he didn't rock. But they were good, tight squeezes. Not so hard that I deflated, but tight. Like they meant it. Like I meant something to them.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Gross National Happiness
GNH, or Gross National Happiness. Ever heard of that? Neither have I. I was reading a short article this morning about the world's happiest cities. (As I recall, there were none from the U.S on the list but I might have missed it.)
There was quite a list and brief descriptions of cities and why they were ranked as "happy" cities. Then it came to the small Himalayan city of Bhutan. And that's where this phrase "Gross National Happiness" popped up. I think it's cool...I like the way it sounds. And, according to the author, when describing the people of that city, "You can see it (happiness) in their open faces - they smile from their hearts."
That's enticing enough to make me want to go see for myself!
There was quite a list and brief descriptions of cities and why they were ranked as "happy" cities. Then it came to the small Himalayan city of Bhutan. And that's where this phrase "Gross National Happiness" popped up. I think it's cool...I like the way it sounds. And, according to the author, when describing the people of that city, "You can see it (happiness) in their open faces - they smile from their hearts."
That's enticing enough to make me want to go see for myself!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I'm Just Sayin'
Have you ever been a starter on a sports team? You know what I mean, one of the "original" five on the court, or just part of a team that played for years together? I was. When I was in the third grade I started playing city league softball with a group of girls. We all attended the same elementary school. I played on that team until my sophomore year in high school. That's when I realized I couldn't run track and play ball during the same season, although I gave it a shot. That's a long time to play on a team that was pretty much the same players, seven years.
I played outfield...because I threw the ball from the middle of center field into homeplate once and it sailed over the backstop. Hey, I never said I always had great control! That's another story though...Anywho,my point is when you are a part of something like that there is a cohesiveness, a "oneness" that just seems to grow. And the longer you are a part of that team the stronger that gets. Being the "6th man" on a basketball team is almost the same as being on the starting five...but not quite.
You sit and watch the other players run the plays, pass the ball, make the shots, steal the ball...all of it. And you know you know how to do that, maybe as good as or even better in some ways than any one of the others out there on the starting five. Sometimes there's no rhyme or reason to how the starters are selected, or for that matter, who gets the sixth man spot.
But what happens if someone on the starting team isn't able to start any longer? Maybe they get hurt, out for the season, or move away. They just aren't out there in their natural place anymore...the place everyone else on the starting lineup is used to seeing them. Feels kind of bad for the "new" player. Why? Because everyone else is going to be watching, scruitinizing every move that player makes. How fast they get down the court. How crisp, sharp and accurate their passes are, how much they hustle on defense, if they have quick hands to steal the ball, good vision on the court and you can shoot. And no matter how well they do 90% of the time, 75% of the time or even 50% of the time...when they make one mistake that's all everyone else can see.
I don't like being the sixth player. It's not any fun. And it doesn't really matter to me what the fans think...they don't carry much weight. Oh sure, the coach. Yeah, the coach put me in there. For some reason, right? Thought I could do it, thought I had what it takes, thought I deserved the opportunity, thought I could make a difference for the team as a starter. That's great...but if the other starters never accept me as a starter on their squad...well, you get the point.
I played outfield...because I threw the ball from the middle of center field into homeplate once and it sailed over the backstop. Hey, I never said I always had great control! That's another story though...Anywho,my point is when you are a part of something like that there is a cohesiveness, a "oneness" that just seems to grow. And the longer you are a part of that team the stronger that gets. Being the "6th man" on a basketball team is almost the same as being on the starting five...but not quite.
You sit and watch the other players run the plays, pass the ball, make the shots, steal the ball...all of it. And you know you know how to do that, maybe as good as or even better in some ways than any one of the others out there on the starting five. Sometimes there's no rhyme or reason to how the starters are selected, or for that matter, who gets the sixth man spot.
But what happens if someone on the starting team isn't able to start any longer? Maybe they get hurt, out for the season, or move away. They just aren't out there in their natural place anymore...the place everyone else on the starting lineup is used to seeing them. Feels kind of bad for the "new" player. Why? Because everyone else is going to be watching, scruitinizing every move that player makes. How fast they get down the court. How crisp, sharp and accurate their passes are, how much they hustle on defense, if they have quick hands to steal the ball, good vision on the court and you can shoot. And no matter how well they do 90% of the time, 75% of the time or even 50% of the time...when they make one mistake that's all everyone else can see.
I don't like being the sixth player. It's not any fun. And it doesn't really matter to me what the fans think...they don't carry much weight. Oh sure, the coach. Yeah, the coach put me in there. For some reason, right? Thought I could do it, thought I had what it takes, thought I deserved the opportunity, thought I could make a difference for the team as a starter. That's great...but if the other starters never accept me as a starter on their squad...well, you get the point.
Still Playing Around
I'm still experimenting with the layout and colors for this blog. And what to do about photos. I have lots to choose from, just haven't decided on what direction to go yet. Guess that's my prerogative, right?
So...I've decided to clean up a couple of rooms before Randy comes home from Afghanistan in a month from Saturday. I started on one and after about 10 minutes just thought "I REALLY do not want to be doing this right now!"...so I quit!
I guess it's like crafts with me. If it takes longer than 10.7 minutes from start to finish, I lose interest and patience. That's how I am with cleaning. Now yard work is a totally different story. I can go for HOURS on end weeding, digging, dead-heading flowers, trimming, mowing...you name it. Until it just gets so darn hot and I'm crawling into the house or I actually "finish" (yard work is never really finished, right?). So what is my deal? Maybe it's a sense of satisfaction. I think I can more readily see the results of my efforts in a patch of dirt than in a room or on a counter top.
Well, on the up-side...I made a fresh blackberry cobbler to indulge myself in later tonight. Probably about the time the Boise State Bronco's take on the Oregon Quackers. And yes, the berries are from our garden. There are lots of them...I should figure out what to do with them soon, eh?
So...I've decided to clean up a couple of rooms before Randy comes home from Afghanistan in a month from Saturday. I started on one and after about 10 minutes just thought "I REALLY do not want to be doing this right now!"...so I quit!
I guess it's like crafts with me. If it takes longer than 10.7 minutes from start to finish, I lose interest and patience. That's how I am with cleaning. Now yard work is a totally different story. I can go for HOURS on end weeding, digging, dead-heading flowers, trimming, mowing...you name it. Until it just gets so darn hot and I'm crawling into the house or I actually "finish" (yard work is never really finished, right?). So what is my deal? Maybe it's a sense of satisfaction. I think I can more readily see the results of my efforts in a patch of dirt than in a room or on a counter top.
Well, on the up-side...I made a fresh blackberry cobbler to indulge myself in later tonight. Probably about the time the Boise State Bronco's take on the Oregon Quackers. And yes, the berries are from our garden. There are lots of them...I should figure out what to do with them soon, eh?
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