Ever feel just kind of out of place, like you don't quite fit in, like you're just going through the motions to keep up appearances so people don't "see" what you are really feeling inside? That's kind of how the past few days have been for me.
Fortunately for me, I guess, right now I don't have to interact with a lot of people. There's no one at home (husband works in Afghanistan) and being a full-time household engineer, I am home alone...except for when I'm not.
It's strange how you can sit in a room full of people, even a congregation of 200-plus, and still feel completely disconnected from anyone. Totally and utterly alone.
I think that each of us must feel that way at times in our lives. There's always something that sets us apart from everyone else. Sometimes, that "one thing" can be a painful realization of how different you are, how you don't quite fit in, how you probably won't ever measure up.
I don't know why but that "one thing" for me has been more pronounced this past week than ever before. It is something most of the women I know can never relate to, have never experienced it and really, off the top of my head, I cannot think of anyone I know that shares this same "one thing" with me. It's a lonely place to be, in the middle of that "one thing".
Maybe it's better to just look at all the "many things" that tie me to so many others.
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I tell my kids all the time that we are different. Different that anyone we are around, be it school or church people. And most of the time that is a good thing. When it isn't well, deal with it. But I'm not so good at taking my own advice. I have a mile long list of those "one thing"s. While most of them are probably different than yours I understand your feelings!
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