Hadn't planned on posting anything today but....I had a hard time getting to sleep last night. Then kept waking up. And one person kept being in my thoughts. I met Heidi about 21 years ago, I think this month. We were missionary companions in New Hampshire when we were assigned to serve together. We were a bit of an odd couple. I'm reserved and very deliberate. Heidi is a walking musical, busting out in various lyrics and tunes from Broadway shows and other musical pieces she had learned over the years. We were a dynamic duo back in those days. Lots of fun and lots of success.
I haven't kept up with Heidi's life for a while but thought I'd check her blog last night, just see what was up. What I read saddened my heart. Heidi and Phil married about three years ago. She's sort of like me that way, waited a long time for the "right" one to come a long. Phil seems like a wonderful man, a good provider, loving husband and doting father to their little girl, about 2 years old now. But since early in their marriage Phil has been battling colorectal cancer. It had metastasized to his lung at one point. I don't recall all of the details but I know he has had a couple of surgeries. He is a professor at a university in Alabama, where they moved shortly after their wedding. Heidi has been a stay at home mom during that time, loving every minute of her life.
Phil has gone through chemo and I don't know what other treatments to put this beast in check. However, from the sounds of things, their meeting with a thoracic surgeon last week did not offer much hope. Sounds like things have advanced to a stage where surgery is not an option, chemo is no longer effective.
How can something that is your dream be so starkly snatched away, just like that? Seems that when you wait so long for that dream to become a reality, you might feel like you are "entitled" to a life of joy and happiness for many years to come. But Heidi doesn't think like that. The title of that post? I.CAN.DO.HARD.THINGS.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Why I Love Hammocks
You ever hang out in a hammock? I never really did until I bought one for Randy for our first anniversary. It was pretty cool, came with a metal frame so you could just put it wherever you wanted to. Wasn't tied to a tree. It was wide, big enough for both of us to get in it. Blue and white striped.
I never spent much time in that particular hammock. Not sure why, I guess maybe I felt like it was Randy's hammock and HE should be in it, not me. But then we moved. The backyard, which is pretty big since our lot size is over a half-acre, has a nice sized tree. Perfecto for putting a hammock under it. I started using it more and more and as the kids came home from missions, I would often see Elizabeth or Nathan out in the hammock.
Then one of the puppies, Joely, decided she wanted to try the hammock. I remember lying in it one day, lazily daydreaming. The next thing I knew I was almost flipped out onto the ground! Joely had jumped onto the hammock with me! Kind of funny but it gets better. I watched her jump onto the hammock while it was empty, certain she would flip herself right out of it. But she didn't! Somehow the little bugger was smart enough to figure out that this moving "blankie" could be stablized if she put all four legs out, kind of spread eagle. She often would jump up in the hammock after that. I think it was just fun for her.
Well, one thing I've missed a lot this summer...the hammock. Oh, the stand is still there and so is the tree. But last summer the hammock got broken. And I haven't replaced it. It almost seems like a luxury item now. It's not that much fun to just have it all to myself all the time anyway. Maybe it will get replaced so that next summer, I'll have the hammock back. And maybe next summer, Randy will be home to share the hammock with me.
I never spent much time in that particular hammock. Not sure why, I guess maybe I felt like it was Randy's hammock and HE should be in it, not me. But then we moved. The backyard, which is pretty big since our lot size is over a half-acre, has a nice sized tree. Perfecto for putting a hammock under it. I started using it more and more and as the kids came home from missions, I would often see Elizabeth or Nathan out in the hammock.
Then one of the puppies, Joely, decided she wanted to try the hammock. I remember lying in it one day, lazily daydreaming. The next thing I knew I was almost flipped out onto the ground! Joely had jumped onto the hammock with me! Kind of funny but it gets better. I watched her jump onto the hammock while it was empty, certain she would flip herself right out of it. But she didn't! Somehow the little bugger was smart enough to figure out that this moving "blankie" could be stablized if she put all four legs out, kind of spread eagle. She often would jump up in the hammock after that. I think it was just fun for her.
Well, one thing I've missed a lot this summer...the hammock. Oh, the stand is still there and so is the tree. But last summer the hammock got broken. And I haven't replaced it. It almost seems like a luxury item now. It's not that much fun to just have it all to myself all the time anyway. Maybe it will get replaced so that next summer, I'll have the hammock back. And maybe next summer, Randy will be home to share the hammock with me.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Where Do the Lids Go?
I don't know if there is anything that bugs me so much but this is one of my pet peeves: having small storage containers, like Rubbermaid or Tupperware, with NO LIDS! Where do they disappear to? What's the point in having something like 30 lids that don't fit the containers? Drives me nuts...Seriously, I am tempted to throw them all away and just get those new ones that have the lids that snap onto the BOTTOM when you store them.
Okay...so here's the rest of the "lid" story. It goes along with the old sheets, thread-bare towels and other such things. Might be hard for some folks to "get" this but I'll try to explain my perspective. Ya see, a lot of those little containers with no lids, or the many lids with no matching containers - they are not mine. Just like the old sheets and towels so worn you can literally see sunlight through them if you hold them up. They aren't mine. In my life, they are useless. They have no meaning, no purpose whatsoever. They take up space and I wonder when I see them "why are we keeping these"? But becausethey don't "belong" to me, I can't get rid of them. You see, these are momentos of someone who no longer walks among us. They are part of a past family life which I don't belong to. They are from the wife of my husband's youth, married to her for 20 years...the mother of his children. Constant reminders of who I am not, the role I will never fill, the place I can never take as my own. So I have a kitchen drawer full of containers and lids that don't match, old towels and sheets that hold their own shelf in the linen closet.
Okay...so here's the rest of the "lid" story. It goes along with the old sheets, thread-bare towels and other such things. Might be hard for some folks to "get" this but I'll try to explain my perspective. Ya see, a lot of those little containers with no lids, or the many lids with no matching containers - they are not mine. Just like the old sheets and towels so worn you can literally see sunlight through them if you hold them up. They aren't mine. In my life, they are useless. They have no meaning, no purpose whatsoever. They take up space and I wonder when I see them "why are we keeping these"? But becausethey don't "belong" to me, I can't get rid of them. You see, these are momentos of someone who no longer walks among us. They are part of a past family life which I don't belong to. They are from the wife of my husband's youth, married to her for 20 years...the mother of his children. Constant reminders of who I am not, the role I will never fill, the place I can never take as my own. So I have a kitchen drawer full of containers and lids that don't match, old towels and sheets that hold their own shelf in the linen closet.
What's Up?
Just thought I'd take a chance on a second blog. My first one, http://idahoironrodbeagles.blogspot.com served it's only purpose. That was to sell an unexpected litter of beautiful beagle pups last spring. It worked. It was fun. Gave me something to do.
So what about the title of this blog you ask? Seriously, have you NEVER burned anything you were cooking or baking? Happens to everyone, I'm sure. What I hate the most about that is the stink (c'mon, you know it smells up the house, your hair, your clothes!) AND the mess! But maybe even worse than that is the sense of defeat that comes from burning dinner or dessert. Here I planned something, got all the ingredients out, mixed it up, set the oven temp and timer. And just like that, it doesn't turn out the way I expected! And who wants to eat something that is totally crispified? Yech...but life's kinda like that, isn't it?
'Cept we can't really just "throw it out", right? You have to hang around until the "stink" goes away, the oven cools off and the pan soaks...for three days! So in the midst of our missteps, misjudgments, misunderstandings maybe we can find something in the burnt offerings of our lives still worthy to place on the alter. Still good enough to be accepted as an offering. Probably will need to do a little scraping off of the burned portions though, like toast.
So what about the title of this blog you ask? Seriously, have you NEVER burned anything you were cooking or baking? Happens to everyone, I'm sure. What I hate the most about that is the stink (c'mon, you know it smells up the house, your hair, your clothes!) AND the mess! But maybe even worse than that is the sense of defeat that comes from burning dinner or dessert. Here I planned something, got all the ingredients out, mixed it up, set the oven temp and timer. And just like that, it doesn't turn out the way I expected! And who wants to eat something that is totally crispified? Yech...but life's kinda like that, isn't it?
'Cept we can't really just "throw it out", right? You have to hang around until the "stink" goes away, the oven cools off and the pan soaks...for three days! So in the midst of our missteps, misjudgments, misunderstandings maybe we can find something in the burnt offerings of our lives still worthy to place on the alter. Still good enough to be accepted as an offering. Probably will need to do a little scraping off of the burned portions though, like toast.
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